»In which my eyes are plate-wide

Aram brought to mine attention this month-old post on Craigslist (San Francisco, for reasons that will become quite clear): http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/608546617.html.

Craigslist has collected it under the "Best-of", which is a user-driven distinction. This post is a splendid successor to Theodocious Ferocious's "One Less Fixie" post of a few years ago, which commemorated the brief popularity of freewheeling front-brake-only pista bicycles and their numbskull riders.

"my eyes are usually plate-wide with terror"