»In which I retire

I used to entertain the notion of retiring to the middle-south of Portugal, not quite as far to the Mediterranean end as The Algarve, and settling in to a quiet life of cork farming. The farm would have a few chickens, for the delicious eggs of a morning, and from time to time I would harvest the cork.

Now I have a new retirement plan: away to the rocky north coast of Scotland, my ancestral home, where I will set up a punk-rock bed-and-breakfast, with a nice bit o' land around it. Call it the Inn on the Kilt Acre; my uncle can build a stone fence. He is a renowned builder in those parts.