»In which we have more adventures with the umbrella

I recently realised the origin of the word "umbrella", but had not actually used one of these devices until yesterday evening, when I walked out of the office into a downpour. I went back inside, borrowed an umbrella, and then walked back home. Nifty device, the umbrella (or brolly, or bumbershoot).

The umbrella should be an epoynmous device, like Phillips screwdriver or the Harvey wallbanger; I still fancy the idea of a Guglielmo da Umbrella excitedly holding his invention over the pretty head of a Tuscan lady as the summer rain begins to fall, and a scheming fellow-inventor stealing the carelessly-guarded secret mechanism that propels the canopy.

Scene: The town square. Rain begins falling.
Damsel: Oh! my curls! they are becoming all wet from this rain!
Guglielmo: Here, please allow me ...      neatly pops open a large cloth device
D: But what is this magical machine that you have?
G: shrugs modestly    It is nothing, I have just invented it for you, my pretty lady ...
D: You are so clever! It keeps the rain away! ... and my hair and dress are dry! How marvellous!
G: Also, when the sun comes out again, this will keep you quite nicely in the shade, while you eat strawberries and cream!
D: ooohs and aaahs, and takes Guglielmo's arm

Cut to scene: a caped and jealous Marco, Visconto di Pantalones, steals into Guglielmo's laboratory at the back of his cottage. He casts his eyes around the room
Marco Aha! The plans for the device are on the table! I will take them, and soon I will be escorting all the pretty ladies around the town!
Throws back head and laughs.
Fall curtain.

Rain continued through the night, and into the morning; I used the umbrella again on the way back to work today.