»In which I need to get a new pair of glasses

I just stopped at the local store -- the cheese, dates, and bulk grains store -- to pick up a snack (cheese, dates, and bulk grains, in fact). I was carefully selecting dates from the two bins, medjool on the left and deglet noor on the right, when a woman came into the store, doubling the number of customers. She barrelled straight down the aisle towards me, and I reflexively moved closer to the table with the dates. She stopped, but barely, right against me. I continued with the dates, and she bellowed, "Excuse me!" I looked at her and said, "One moment, I'll be done in a moment," and she glared. I finished with one batch of dates and moved around the table so that she could pass -- and she yelled, "Can't you see I'm too fat to get past?"
I am so glad that she neither had the manners to wait, nor the brains to go around to the other aisle (the other side of the table, in fact), nor the shame to not yell about her girth. I felt stunned for a moment after she squeezed past.

Good thing I am going to get a new pair of glasses: I will be able to see the fat people coming.

UPDATE: The dates were dry and rotten. I wish I had a monkey to taste my dates.