»In which Mr Bolsinga throws a 'wild party'

I love police-blotter writing, especially in very local 'papers:

Bay to Breakers Melee, 1900 block Fell Sunday, May 15, 12:29 p.m. A Bay to Breakers party got out of hand when some uninvited partygoers joined the party and started to spray the real guests with beer. A verbal argument quickly escalated into a violent melee with the host getting hit with a beer bottle on top of his head causing a severe laceration, which required sutures and hospitalization. The good quests chased away the villains who attempted to out run our very busy day watch Officers. The Officers caught the assault suspects in the panhandle and several eyewitnesses made the old positive eyeball identification. The suspects went to jail for felony assault, conspiracy, malicious mischief, and violation of their felony probation. Now that's what you call a wild party.

This refers, of course, to the misadventure of Greg after Bay to Breakers '05. The miscreants pleaded guilty, and the primary assailant received six months in pokey, while the abettor is on probation. Greg was happy, and we were all duly impressed with the workings of the great wheels of justice.